I don’t know if it is Post-911 blues or what, but like missing out learning a second language since birth, I also would have liked to have been in the military. That said, If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em (or at least try).

I have successfully gotten to September with my New Year’s resolution to workout more and I just found this challenge. The key thing for me is that it is simple, it is continuous, and it ties into what I have been working on lately. Watching Cliffhanger has always made me feel bad that I don’t think I could pull myself up if I was dangling from a rock face. In high school I skirted P.E. by joining the band and unless you are hauling the tuba around, it is just not the same as lifting weights. So, I wanted to be able to do pull-ups anytime, anywhere. Especially if I had to catch someone falling off a ship, or hold on while they dangle off the side of a building (Hey, you never know). I started with assisted weights to lighten my own weight and now I am doing it free form. I usually can do about 4 sets of 8. IF I could manage to lose some weight I am sure that would help, but the Gordon Biersch Taco Burger just keeps whispering, “Eat me.” On top of that I am also doing situps regularly and I usually run for about 42 minutes, so this seemed like a good test.

The pull-ups have no time limit, but you can’t let go. They add that rule in there like it matters. If you can’t do one more pull-up, hanging there like a moron is not going to help you. I found the situps work better if someone does hold your ankles. I did it without, and I adjusted my position a lot. I think I could have cranked a few more out if I had help. The running is straight forward: run as fast as you can. They don’t have miles in Taiwan (nope, don’t exist) so I had to run 4.82 Km. Only problem is you just did pull-ups and sit-ups and now you run all out. I ran at about 80%. I thought it was only going to be 18 minutes, so when I got to 23 minutes my spirits started to sink. I couldn’t stop doing the math in my head (1 km at ~7 min = … oh crap, how slow am I?) I also would like to meet the guy running 3 miles in 18:00. This guy has got to be flying.

All in all I am quite happy with my first try. I scored a 166 with 12 pullups, 55 situps, and 26:04 run. That puts me in Tier 2 (yay!) except I am Tier 2 based on my age. I would like to make Tier 2 (a score of 175) to compete with the 20 year olds, but I guess you have to admit younger people can be more fit :(

The next time you hit the gym, give it a try (less than ~30 min) and let me know how you do!

No talking in the elevator!
Originally uploaded by beuk

Taipei has gone a lil overboard with swine flu scare. Not only do
people wear masks on a regular basis, but our daughter’s school has
instituted a whole bunch of new daily rules:
1. Sanitize hands
2. Have temperature taken
3. Change shoes
4. No trips abroad
5. If you feel ill stay home for a week
6. Store diaper in plastic bag
7. You can only use your pre-assigned POS towel and not any random
towel.
Etc…

I feel that this is out of hand. First off I am supposed to sanitize
my hands at the school, the office, the mall, and my language class.
Why? This cannot be healthy. In 2 years our daughter has been sick
twice instead of the average 10 times a year for her age WITHOUT doing
this! Second there have been 6 swine flu deaths in ALL of Taiwan!
Yet they closed 15 schools in TAIPEI alone and now are rumoring that
students will have to learn via radio at home. What? People die of
the flu. It is a fact of life and yes it is sad. Just because you give
it a name or number does not make it any worse than it was before.

I knew all this was crazy, but the final straw is this sign saying we
cannot talk in the lift. What? Who the heck are you to tell me I
cannot talk and what is the point of the mask if I cant talk with it on?
How about no breathing? That would solve the flu problem. Furthermore
no one calls it a lift. Taiwan don’t pretend you do or I will run you
over with my pram and stick you in my bum bag.

I am going to the US with my daughter soon for two weeks. I will make
darn sure our first stop is rolling with the pigs on the nearest farm
and then coming back to give teacher a big hug.

One of the strangest things I am doing now is taking Japanese classes. Not because that in itself is strange, but because my teacher does not speak much English. This means I mostly use Chinese to communicate and ask questions (no-no #1 in learning an Asian language). It actually works out pretty well.

I routinely find strange phrases that make me wish I could just run off and get a Ph.D. in linguistics. (By the way, after reading this you will see why I am crap at languages. My wife can hear a phrase and repeat it like the world’s best Mynah. Me, I need to build all kinds of crazy mnemonics too have a clue. That said, once I know it, I know it.) I am starting to have a lot of crossovers and routinely find myself searching for English words on conference calls with the States due to the rewiring in my brain.

Here are some interesting observations and examples:
Tate Mono (pronounced: Taa Teah Mo No) means house or building. I find this one of the easiest words for me to remember because I love the Tate MOderN in London (pronounced T-eight). It is easy to remember Tate Mono as a building. A NICE building :)
Biiru, Kohii, Noto, Tepurekoda (Beer, Coffee, Notebook, Tape recorder) all sound very close to the English word, but drink to much Biiru…
Otearai (pronounced: Oh Teah Ah Ra EE) meaning toilet and you may have a hard time finding this if you can’t say it! The Brits got this one right with “Loo.” Side Note in China “Lu” means street, which often doubles as the toilet.
~ no ~ no ~ no when describing possessiveness (as in My wife or My book) you use “no.” The problem is there is no limit so you can get sentences that to an outsider sound like “No, No, No!” Interestingly enough the word for “No” in Japanese is “Iie” or what Mr. Miyagi says a lot (seriously go back and watch).
Leggo Eggo I swear this had a meaning, but I forgot to write it down I was laughing so hard.
Shite this actually means “give” as in “Mama cyu shite” (Mama give me a kiss) or “Mama ryori shitte” (Mama give me your cooking). Not to be confused with “Mama your cooking is shite”.

Now all that said, Chinese also has its funny phrases. We were at the flower market last weekend and B wanted to know if the flowers were suitable (he shi) for direct sun, so I told the lady:

“Zai Tai Tai de yang tai, tai yang tai da” or “On wifey’s porch the sun is quite strong”

The lady answered “no problem” in the blink of an eye. It didn’t phase me until we walked away how strange that (mostly) correct sentence was AND that someone else could even understand it! Gotta love Chinese.

We have been here too long. These things are just not that weird to us anymore:

Taiwan.
The other day I saw a family of 5 on a scooter. B was shocked. I was like, “What’s the big deal.” In the U.S. you would never see that (not because of laws, because an American family of 5 would be too fat to fit). We routinely see 4 people on a scooter so it is not that much of a stretch for 5. From a business side of view I wondered why they don’t make “stretch” scooters? You know for when you have to take Grandma too? Like a stretch limo or stretch Humvee, just for scooters? If you use this idea I want royalties.

Japan.
Check out this story from the NYTimes about 2D love. Here is a snippet:

“a 2-D depiction of a character, Nemu, from an X-rated version of a PC video game called Da Capo, printed on synthetic fabric.” (You gotta love the English language…)

Having visited Japan I can tell you this is one of the least weird things that happens there. Now 4 year old kids taking the subway home alone, THAT’S WEIRD! I have a friend who once told me that she believes the planet will take care of over crowding by itself. She seems to think that there will be some mass accident that will wipe out half the population and then she can actually get a reservation at a ski resort without reserving before June. Wired Magazine believes a cataclysmic event will happen on December 21, 2012. It might even be an asteroid like the PACIFIC OCEAN SIZED HOLE in Jupiter. Like most things “I” believe it will be people like I-Love-My-Pillow-Too-Much-San that voluntarily drop out of the gene pool and thus we have less reproduction (HINT: stop storing inventory now).

Looked up the definition of “Dol” today. Just thought it a little strange:

1. a unit of pain intensity
2. (Korean): shout to cut off discriminative thinking
3. The administrative agency of the federal government that enforces and administers laws and regulations affecting employees at work.

Do you think they planned that?

WARNING: This post gets a lil crass, so don’t show it to the kiddies. (That means you G, look away).

Studying Mandarin in multiple cities has given me an insight into how language shifts from location to location. People may believe they are speaking the same language, but the words are not the same. So, now I am in Australia for the week and fell like I am learning English all over again. Some of it is a bit of clever advertising, but the rest???

First up I saw a sign in a store saying, “Cure Sore Balls.” I have to admit I was definitely caught looking at this sign. The only problem? It is an ad for helping women with sore feet after wearing high heels. Not sure I am the demographic they were looking for.

Next is the “NapiSan.” Having come from Chicago I was already familiar with the famously well known, “NapiHeads,” but NapiSan? Turns out it is diaper (nappy) detergent. Guess we have an alternative if we ever run out of our own.

When I went for a run I found I figured out what the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Grounds) is. The most interesting thing at this sporting venue is the entry marked “Passout Entry.” What? How drunk do the Aussies get before a cricket match that they have to divide the crowd into Sober, Drunk, Still Ugly, and Passed Out? Good on ya for letting them still attend though. Guess no one misses a match down under.

Just when I thought it was over, I saw one more sign. It is a simple sign. A construction company’s sign. If this is your company’s name and you do not produce porn videos, please change it.

I guess we would have to conclude that this is walking. People ask us every day if she is walking yet and we always answer, “No.” We seem to have much higher standards for her ability to walk. Besides pulling yourself up and starting on your own, the biggest requirement for us is not falling down! That mostly comes from living in a house with sharp glass edges and marble floors. An airport with lots of carpet and a hotel suite have definitely helped give us some peace of mind during walking practice. You will see here in the earlier, much longer, video that we were not quite there, but she keeps trying.

It was a bit distressing that the lil 15 month old in the video who has been walking since 10 months was running all over the place, when Miss G just started yesterday. I say distressing meaning, of course I am comparing the two, which I know I shouldn’t do. Yeah, that lasted up until G explained how if you are not “gentle” you will hurt your “nose” and not have “doggie” when you “walk” in sign language, English, and Chinese. (So, proud!) I even got called out by another parent who asked me, “how old is she?” To which G proudly holds up one finger. “So, clever” was the response. Yes, she is. Waking is overrated anyway :)

p.s. The doggie is a good trick. We get her to “hug doggie” or “hold your shirt” to improve her balance and keep her arms in. Otherwise she has zombie arms and is off balance. Many thanks to the nanny for teaching her that one.